I have once again proved my supreme idiocy and inability to handle my own emotions. Now I must sit with my guilt and deal with the consequences of my actions. I can only hope that I will be given the opportunity to explain and to apologize, although I probably don't deserve it.

I wish I was better with people, but I'm not. That's the reality of my life and maybe someday things will be different but today they are not. Oh well. At least now things can't possibly get any worse. That means they can only get better.

I hope.

One of these days my curiosity will be the end of me.

Why? I tend to constantly look at things I should not. Then I'm faced with the consequences of this when I find something that I don't like. Since these things are not put in context, how can I determine whether it's as bad as I think it is? How do I find this out without revealing the invasion of privacy I have made?

Even the most innocent of actions can have dire consequences. Now I have a moral dilemma on my hands which I do not want to face. I fear the answer to my question almost more then the question itself.

Thus is the sound of my world crashing down around me once more.

I want this so bad. *sigh* maybe some day.