Reflections in a Dirty Mirror

I'm hungry.

When a person is dealing with a manic or depressive episode, one of the common side effects is that they lose their appetite. They either do not feel the urge to eat, and therefore do not, or simply do not have the energy to prepare themselves the essential nutrients. It can also be a self destructive move, as one does not care enough about themselves to eat or wishes to hurt themselves through not eating.

I'm very hungry.

I suffer from both depression and severe anxiety. They feed into each other, making a situation where I might be able to cope into one that is almost impossible to bear. The anxiety causes me to isolate myself which leads to feelings of extreme loneliness and self loathing. These feelings turn to depression, which causes me to do things such as missing work. I then become paranoid about the work I have missed, and the anxiety makes me obsess over it leading to more depression. It's a vicious circle.

I wish I had something to eat.

Recently my depression has reached a high point. Events in my life, combined with a very stressful job have led me to have a almost complete nervous breakdown. As a result my work has finally decided that they have had enough of me and layed me off. I am now being forced to confront my issues head on, or else risk losing everything that I hold dear in my life. I do not like the person I see in the mirror. So, how does one change this? Change in medication, change in consoling, change in lifestyle. I have to change the way I think before I can change the way I feel. I've been running from my problems for a very, very long time and I'm tired. Very, very tired.

Luckily for me though, I'm also very hungry.